Relationship anxiety- Signs, causes & management

Anxiety had many forms. One of them is relationship anxiety.

Let’s look at what it is and how you can manage it better.
Relationship anxiety by definition is when a person experiences persistent doubt, fear, or worry in a relationship.
This can arise in any relationships you have. Not just the romantic ones. However, for this blog, we will focus on romantic relationships.

Individuals who have people pleasing tendencies are more prone to experiencing relationship anxiety. But none of this means anything about your ability to have healthy, happy relationships with people around you.

Let’s look at some of the signs of relationship anxiety

1. Doubting their partner’s love: Sometimes, feeling insecure is natural. But if you constantly have this doubt that you might not be good enough for your partner or that your partner doesn’t really love you, you might be experiencing relationship anxiety.
   
   
2. Upset stomach or nausea: Physical symptoms like an upset stomach, nausea or increasing heart palpitations are a sign of anxiety. When someone is upset about their relationships, this can also be classified as a sign of relationship anxiety.
   
   
3. Sabotaging relationships: Some people will unintentionally sabotage their own relationship or end it early. This is because their relationship anxiety makes them feel like they would rather be alone than have a serious relationship with someone else.
   
   
4. Excessive thinking and inability to concentrate: Relationship anxiety will cause individuals to constantly get into spirals of overthinking. This will cause an inability to concentrate on other, even important tasks and lack of progress.
   If you are experiencing these signs, know that it isn’t something to worry too much about. 1 in 5 people experience relationship anxiety.

Here are some common causes of relationship anxiety:

1. The need for constant reassurance: People with relationship anxiety need their partners to validate their feelings and make them feel good about themselves. This could look like fishing for compliments or asking if they like you even when they say yes.
   
   
2. The need to always please a partner: This need to please their partner while ignoring their own needs is a significant sign of relationship anxiety. People who feel anxious in their relationships often try to prioritize their partners at all times. This does more harm than good in the longer run.
   
   
3. The need to avoid rejection: Both men and women experience this. But it is observed especially in women who choose to silence themselves or not be expressive of their feelings and needs in an attempt to avoid rejection from their partner. They will go to great lengths to avoid any rejection or disagreement from their partner because to them, it feels like their partner is rejecting them as a person and not their ideas or suggestions.
   
   
4. Previous relationship experiences: Experiences like being cheated on, left, hurt, abused or even rejected can cause deep wounds that lead to relationship anxiety. If this happened to you, know that you did not deserve it and relationship anxiety can be solved.

Now that we have established the signs and causes of relationship anxiety, let’s focus on the solutions.

How to manage relationship anxiety

1. Couples therapy: Working with a professional psychotherapist who will be able to understand the unique reasons that cause you relationship anxiety helps a lot. They will be able to share specific exercises with you and your partner to reduce arguments and bring the spark back in your relationship.
   
   
2. Mindfulness: Being aware of the words you speak, the thoughts you think and the actions you take will help you manage relationship anxiety better. The awareness will help you change any unhelpful words, thoughts or actions thus helping you experience security in your romantic relationships. Simple practices like meditation or journaling can help with this.
   
   
3. Better communication: This is a two-way street. But you can start by learning how to clearly communicate your needs and feelings to your partner. Similarly, you can also learn to understand your partner’s feelings without taking them too personally. This will help you reduce any relationship anxiety you might be feeling.
   
   
4. Self-care activities: When you take care of yourself and prioritize yourself as well, you will feel better as a person. This will increase your self-worth and reduce the need of constant reassurance and validation from your partner. Thus, naturally helping with your relationship anxiety.
   
   
5. Focus on facts: Feeling rejected or avoided can cause impulsive behaviors like incessant calling or texting. This does not solve any problem and instead adds to the stress one or both partners might be feeling. In cases like this, it is best to focus on the facts on the matter and not the temporary feelings that are causing relationship anxiety.

We have shared with you all the signs, causes and tools to manage relationship anxiety. Now, if you are ready to work on this in-depth with our non-judgemental and highly professional therapists, book an appointment here.