Every relationship has dull moments, arguments and misunderstandings. But if it happens very often, chances are your communication is not as healthy as it should be.
Here is what healthy and effective communication looks like:
1. You listen to your partner
Actively listening to your partner and being there for them when they are sharing their issues or concerns is a sign of healthy communication in relationships.
2. Your statements are kind
Using kind statements and being considerate of your partner’s feelings, especially while disagreeing with each other’s viewpoints, is a huge part of healthy communication.
3. You trust them and their words
Trust is the foundation of happy relationships. If you trust what your partner says, it means your communication is healthy and you will have fewer arguments as compared to partners who find it difficult to trust their partners.
On the other hand, if you experience these, your communication needs some work:
1. Constant interruptions while talking
If you are constantly interrupting your partner while they are speaking or if you are being interrupted by them, you might need to work on your communication. Healthy communication in relationships requires that both partners pay attention to each other’s points and even validate their feelings when one is vulnerable.
2. Feeling like you or your partner is often distracted during conversations
One cannot fully and openly communicate happily if their partner is distracted. So if you or your partner feels distracted during most of your conversations, it is a sign that your communication needs work. It is not something to worry about, rather an opportunity to work on something together for your relationship.
3. Usage of defensive or aggressive language
This is important. If you often find your or your partner using defensive or aggressive language, you need to work on your communication. Maybe better words or tones could be used. But overall, focusing on the intention and feelings help. This fosters healthy communication between both partners in a romantic relationship.
In order to solve that,
Here are 6 proven ways of increasing communication in your relationship
Do not think of these as ways to fix your ‘bad’ communication but rather a way to make your relationship better
1. Get clear on what you want to communicate
More often than not, we notice our couples therapy clients forget the whole point of communication. It is to share your feelings, thoughts and concerns with your partner. That starts with getting clear on what you want. So, you can effectively communicate that and have healthy communication within your relationship
2. Listen more, speak less
Most conversations get better with listening. When your partner shares their issues, be open to fully listening. Do not get aggressive or defensive. Instead, encourage them to share their feelings and listen with an open mind. Seeing things from their perspective will help you in increasing communication in your relationship.
3. Validate their feelings
When listening to your partner, share that you understand them. Let them know that their feelings are valid. This does not make you wrong. It only shows your partner that you care about them and are willing to understand them more. Validating feelings while communicating is an important step in healthy relationships.
4. Manage your tone
Isn’t this difficult during stressful times? You really want to share what is bothering you and yet your partner gets defensive? When your tone is inappropriate, even neutral things get misinterpreted thus causing arguments. In order to increase healthy communication and reduce arguments, it is imperative that both partners learn how to speak in a kinder, loving tone. It is an easy skill to learn.
5. Use better, kinder words
Along with the tone, partners should focus on the words they speak. There are many ways to talk about the same situation. Choosing better words really helps. Once you start implementing this, you will improve your communication.
6. Figure out your and your partner’s love language
Based on the famous book ‘5 love languages: How to Express Heartfelt Commitment to Your Mate’ by Gary Chapman, there are 5 major love languages humans use to communicate with each other. They are gifts, words of affirmation, physical touch, acts of service, or quality time. Based on your love language, you can increase your communication by doing things that your partner feels loved by and vice versa.
7. Establish more trust
If you trust your partner, you will be able to deal with rare disagreements, improper tone or words used. Hence, we suggest working on building more trust in the relationship. This will create a path for healthy communication between both partners. This will also help them be more vulnerable and understanding. Therapy helps with this.
Once you implement these simple steps, you will notice an overall increase in your healthy communication.
If you loved these and would love to work on this in-depth, book a couples therapy appointment with us here. We would love to help you out with all this and all things relationship!