Self harming or self injury is the act of deliberate injury to oneself, typically as a result of a mental condition or chronic stress.
Non suicidal self harm looks different for everyone. Our purpose of sharing this blog post is to help everyone identify some key signs of self harming behaviour or tendency.
If those signs are present we suggest ways to work on it and solve it.
Let’s start with the big question.
Why do people self harm?
While everyone has a personal, unique reason for their self harming behaviour, these are some reasons why people self harm.
1. Problems within friends or partners
When problems are not usually solved within friendships or relationships, especially within teenagers and youth, they tend to feel lost and helpless. If they do not seek proper help, they start drowning in their problems and they resort to destructive behaviours like self harming.
2. Arguments or problems at home
Emotional, mental or financial problems at home can often cause arguments and even aggression at home. When people do not feel safe in their own home, they tend to fall into patterns of shame or addictions. Both of those over time can cause them to hurt their own self in a failed attempt to feel better via self injury
3. Bullying, low self esteem
Being bullied at school or work can drive the person to bully themselves. Over time this reduces their self esteem and makes them more critical of their own self. This can lead to self destructive behaviors like self harming
4. Alcohol or drug addiction
Addiction can cause stress. Withdrawal or overuse of addictive substances can often make someone self harm or self injure.
5. Mental health concerns like anxiety or depression
Mental disorders affect our ability to think clearly and make better decisions for our wellbeing. It can convince us of our lack of worth and thus drive us to hurt ourselves in an attempt to prove a false point. Therapy can help in managing mental disorders well.
6. Extreme grief or rage
Situations like losing a loved one, missing a huge opportunity or even separating from long term partners can cause grief and emotional pain. In such moments, individuals might even feel extreme anger towards everyone involved. When nothing can be done to solve the external circumstance, people self injure themselves to cope up with it. The pain of self harming does not negate the emotional pain, just temporarily reduces it.
7. Trauma
Childhood trauma, past incidents or even trauma from work or relationships can cause deep psychological effects on humans. Being exposed to trauma makes us feel unsafe even in relatively safe situations or circumstances. It even leads to PTSD or Post Traumatic Stress Disorder which can lead to panic attacks or emotional breakdowns. In such moments, one is very prone to self harming and often does resort to that.
8. Work or career problems
Constant stress or burnout due to work pressure or experiencing failures in career can lead to self harming behaviour.
9. Inability to regulate complex emotions well
When one cannot express their emotions well, they bottle everything up. That can lead to huge episodes of emotional breakdowns. Sometimes it is extreme crying or rage. Other times when there is no one around, it leads to self injury. Which is why it is recommended that everyone learns how to regulate their emotions well and learn to express themselves effectively. Therapy can certainly help with this.
What are some signs of self harm or self injury?
Wearing long, covered clothes even in hot weather
New and unexplained bruises, cuts or burns
Undereating or overeating
Isolating
Refusing to participate in social gatherings
Extreme habit changes (like: over exercising or staying up too late)
Who really self harms?
It is noticed that different people of all ages, backgrounds and life stages self harm.
How to manage and prevent self harming behaviours?
1. Talk to someone you trust
2. Join therapy to work on the root cause
3. Journal your feelings instead of hurting yourself
4. Create a box or digital folder of happy memories to look at when you feel low
5. Try box breathing technique to calm yourself down
6. Avoid alcohol, drugs and other addictive substances
7. Spending time doing things your enjoy
8. Be kinder and more loving to yourself
These are just the first steps. We highly recommend speaking to a mental health professional to work on the root causes and help the person in need.
If that’s you, we urge you to sign up for a free 15 minute consultation with us.
Share your issues and let us use the power of therapy to help you.
Join us for a free consultation here.
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